Behind The Scenes, Interiors

AN HONEST CONVERSATION ABOUT MENOPAUSE

My mum can’t remember when she started menopause. Her memory is shot (more on why that may be later). It’s only through some sleuthing that I’ve been able to figure it out, at least roughly. I have a clear memory of my mum talking to an auntie and this auntie – who is always up for trying the latest thing – telling my mum about what I now know to be some sort of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) cream. I remember the Spice Girls having just debuted, so it was around 1996 and I must’ve been about 19 or 20, which made my mum about 49. Knowing my mum, if she was talking to someone about peri-menopause symptoms, she’d probably been having them for some time, suffering silently, particularly because it was even worse back then in terms of cultural understanding. Also my mum doesn’t like to worry people so keeps health issues to herself, much to the annoyance of her four children. I also remember my mum saying at some point in my young adult life that she realised she was probably fighting so horribly with her brother for whom she was working, because she was menopausal. She worked for him briefly when I was about 15, so that would’ve made her 43. Just call me Miss Marple.

In December I turned 46 and my first memory of having a night sweat is between two and three years ago – bingo! Similar age to when my mum might’ve started. The pandemic has played havoc on time so I think I was having them before the pandemic but I can’t be certain. The reason I open this essay in this way is that I think it is essential to find out your family history so you can look out for signs and act early. Night sweats were the first inkling that something was going on. My periods were the same, regular, and I don’t recall many other obvious changes. But that’s what makes peri-menopause is so insidious. The symptoms are varied and sometimes begin subtly. They differ from woman to woman, some getting them all, some getting only a few or even none. Looking back I now understand that I was also experiencing other symptoms, emotional not physical, but the combination of being in a pandemic and then my kids leaving home mislead me to think those were the reasons for my low mood (let’s call it what it is – depression) and anxiety and sadness and fear and panic.

Like many, I’d had a difficult couple of years. For most of 2020 I didn’t work and didn’t get any financial help from the government. But I was surprisingly happy. My kids were home with me, I was being creative and keeping really busy – I wrote/filmed/edited/launched two online courses during that time, I was really active on social media, connecting with people through art and self-expression, I sold paintings, I worked on new business ideas. It wasn’t until the end of 2020/beginning of 2021 that I started to feel really bad. Work had actually started to return although I was in the hole financially and had to dig myself out. I’d also decided that I had to leave London. I couldn’t be there anymore. Financially it was killing me. I wanted to buy a house again but was living in a really expensive area giving all my money to the landlord of a flat I didn’t even like, so that I could be in a city to work and make more money to pay my landlord. That’s how it felt. I’d been looking at flats by the sea for a few years, with the intention of having one for the weekends, not to live permanently, but the pandemic came along and suddenly I had to get out. My son was about to start university and daughter was about to finish. I didn’t have to be in London anymore.

I couldn’t convince my boyfriend to leave – he had an office job and even though he’d been working from home since March 2020, it was likely he’d return to the office soon. He also couldn’t yet see the appeal of leaving London, his friends and the life he’d built. We began fighting a lot. You can’t even call it fighting. It was more that I retreated. He and lots of others I knew seemed to be ok (I have to say that most of them were on paid furlough or getting plenty of financial support from the government which may have helped then feel better quicker) but I still felt awful. Emotionally flat. The world looked bleak. I didn’t feel hope for the future. Everything seemed pointless. For someone who’s always been positive and optimistic this was alarming. I didn’t recognise myself. I’m not someone who just gives up but that’s kind of what I did. I was someone who did big things, I took risks, I moved countries, I started businesses, I said yes to things. To give you some perspective: when I was about 26 I moved with my (now ex) husband from Los Angeles, where we were living, to Seoul, South Korea for his job as a broadcaster in the US Army. Our children were small, Ella was three and a half and Johnny was only two months. During the two years we lived there, I started a children’s clothing business (Spike & Ella), traipsing round the huge fabric markets in Seoul with Ella in a pushchair and Johnny strapped to my chest, trying to negotiate deals on fabric even though I didn’t speak the language. I found a small family run factory (run by the lovely Mr Yi) to make my samples and eventually to fulfil orders, I enlisted a Korean speaking friend to translate for me in meetings, I built a website, I designed lookbooks, clothing labels, packaging, I got showroom reps in the big markets in the US – Dallas, LA, New York – and I ran a fucking business in a foreign country when I was basically a child taking care of children! I don’t share this to brag, but to explain that this is who I am. At my core I am a grafter. I’m ambitious and entrepreneurial and passionate and optimistic.

Peri-menopause has changed who I am. Although my work life has so far been less affected thankfully, in my personal life I feel like a different, less capable person. I hope to return to my former self, hopefully an even more improved version, but right now I don’t even recognise myself. I liken it to feeling like a marble sculpture which over time is being chipped away at, teeny tiny bits chiseled off in the tiniest increments so that it’s barely even noticeable. But then two years later, the sculpture looks completely different. When I talk of the insidiousness of peri-menopause I’m talking about how subtle the changes can be and how they can often be attributed to other circumstances in your life. I thought I was shutting down in my relationship because of outside circumstances and I thought my partner didn’t understand that I had been so deeply affected by the pandemic. I felt like a failure. In 2020/2021 we broke up three times. The first time initiated by me in an emotional outburst that I recall so vividly. Wracked with tears, I was convinced we weren’t right for each other. We got back together again, but the following year he ended it and I didn’t fight it. We got back together again. Finally in February 2021 when I couldn’t see the future clearly anymore, he left me again and again I didn’t fight it. I actually thought it was what I wanted. I was tired of having to feel bad about feeling bad. But I also understand how I wasn’t a joy to be around. Almost immediately I decided to leave London and pursue my dream to live by the sea. Within a month I’d found a flat near Margate. At first I felt liberated but after a few weeks I woke up and realised that something wasn’t right. I was an emotional wreck. I literally couldn’t stop crying for about two weeks. I couldn’t talk to anyone without crying. I became obsessed with getting my boyfriend back.

Fast forward a year and if you follow me on social media, you’ll know my boyfriend moved to the seaside with me (and absolutely loves it), he now works from home full-time, and we bought a house. The difference now is that I recognise that a lot of what happened over the last few years was exacerbated by my change in hormones. It’s all linked so intricately that it’s been hard to unpick. The pandemic had an effect on me, my children leaving home had an effect on me, my temporary loss of work had an effect on me and maybe it was the perfect storm with peri-menopause thrown into the mix as well. What finally led me to call the doctor and have a blood test was the change in periods last year. Sometimes I’d have two a month, followed by three months without one. I had bloods taken and was told that they would indicate if I was peri/menopausal. The (male) doctor said that if the bloods didn’t indicate menopause then we could chat further about why I might be experiencing these changes. When I called for the results, the nurse said the note from the doctor said simply “menopause”.That was it. I laughed. “And?” I said. “What now?” I was told by health care professionals to go away and decide what I wanted to do. Read about treatments or just change my diet and make sure I exercise. Really? That’s it? I was shocked. I thought they would advise me, offer guidance but nope.

I didn’t do anything. Work became really busy (halleluah!) and I just got on with it, as women tend to do. It was only when I hadn’t had a period for a full six months that I called the doctor again. I’d found myself having conversations about HRT with women on set who were a few years older than me. A makeup artist I work with is in her early fifties and said she started taking it at my age and it changed her life (for the record she looks amazing and is always a joy to be around). I started to do a bit of research and I also suddenly became fully aware of how bad I was feeling. A different bad to two years ago. Not depressed, but still emotionally flat. But I also experience ever changing combinations of the following at various points in a day: anxiety, indecisiveness, heart palpitations, disorganisation, messiness, forgetfulness, feeling spaced out, panicked, inability to think clearly, argumentative, difficulty focusing, quick to anger, tired. The list goes on.I do still feel joy and elation at times – particularly when I’m running (I’ve developed a craving for running, something about the burning off energy). It’s like now that I’ve accepted this is real, it has all come into such sharp focus. I’m not imagining it, this isn’t ‘normal’, I do deserve treatment. What I’m trying not to do is my usual excuse making. “Of course you’re stressed/anxious, you have a lot going on, blah blah blah”. I’m writing a book and have a very tight deadline ( I should be writing it now…), I’m planning a number of shoots over the next couple of months, at the end of the month we’re moving into the new house which is still a building site, I’m planning various work and family trips, and on and on. But I used to be able to handle this. Remember the Seoul story? I did all that with two small kids in tow!

So I’ve decided to go on HRT. Unfortunately I got my prescription just in time for the UK shortage! You have to laugh really. It was front page news literally the day I spoke to the women’s health nurse. So my first prescription cannot be filled right now. The good news is, more women are seeking help in the form of Hormone Replacement Therapy. The bad news is the pharmaceutical industry wasn’t prepared and can’t produce it quick enough! With a family history of breast cancer I do need to be more careful as there are links to cancer for some women and some treatments. But I’ve decided to accept the risk. My mum didn’t use treatment back in the nineties. Women were scared by the research linking it to breast cancer and her mother had died from it in her sixties. My mum’s decision coloured my own and is partially why I didn’t seek treatment earlier. It is also because there is so little information out there in the UK. Growing up and until very recently if I’m honest, I thought menopause was hot flashes and mood swings. “Women go a bit crazy” is the general narrative.

There has been a movement in recent years amongst women, now speaking openly about it – this is why I’m writing this. But the national healthcare system is seriously behind. Davina McCall’s recent documentary on Channel 4 and another she did two years ago shone a light on many aspects women may not know and has made so many women, myself included, feel seen and heard. We are not imagining it and we don’t have to just put up with it. A fact I found interesting/alarming was scientific evidence suggesting that if we don’t replace lost hormones in the earlier stages of menopause, there can be irreparable damage to memory. At the beginning, when I spoke about my mum’s memory loss, it’s hard not to wonder if her decision to not take treatment has affected her memory, which is not good. There could be many contributing factors but for me, who already struggled with a less than perfect memory, this stood out.

The fact that peri-menopause can go on for up to ten years before menopause itself arrives and we are expected to just deal with it, is quite shocking. (Once you have had no period for 12 months you are considered to be in menopause). And it is also why it can be difficult for women to pinpoint. Am I? Aren’t I? Is it the weather, the economy, the state of the world, the stress of my job? Raising a family? The difference for me has been that I’ve always managed to handle all those things, until now. I’m not expecting HRT to be a magic pill although some women say it literally saved their lives. It may take some time to get the treatment right, but I am so looking forward to the prospect of feeling like myself again. I’d love to hear your stories if you’ve been going through it or have words of wisdom to share with me and other readers. Thanks for reading. Comment below x

11 May 2022 by
Even when you are renovating a home there are moments of beauty to be found amidst the mess
Interiors

Transforming a 1950’s bungalow in Margate

When I realised my last post was about Christmas decorations I knew there was a problem. It cannot – CANNOT – almost be April. Can it? But how? To say time flies would be both an understatement and a cliche, yet it’s truer than true. I think about writing here all the time, every day in fact. Actually doing it proves more difficult.

We’ve been a bit busy over here at Life Unstyled HQ. A new book and a new house in the works has meant little time for writing, even though it’s one of my favourite ways to express myself. Plus styling for my usual commercial clients and launching a new business (art prints, coming very soon!), it all adds up to a bit of a scrambled brain and very little time.

Anyway, there is so much I want to share with you about all of these new ventures, but until things slow down a bit (who am I kidding though?) here are a few before pictures of our new/old bungalow in the coastal town of Margate, Kent. I lived here from age 10 to 17 – my mum was one of the first DFL’s (Down From London), moving us from the gritty city as kids to the pretty seaside town of Broadstairs, in search of a purer lifestyle. At 17 I left the area for New York and never thought I’d come back. Yet here we are, 30 odd years later and I’ve just bought a house barely a mile from where we lived!

So follow along on Instagram for more regular updates but always stay tuned here for juicier, more meaningful chats. I know that if you’re here reading this, then likely you aren’t just an Instagram scroller, looking for the next dopamine hit of image/video/meme/repeat. If you’re here, it means you still like to read words. So thank you. I can’t always promise they will be grammatically correct, nor can I promise they will be original and informative, but my words will always be from the heart. So for now, please enjoy these snapshots of our little bungalow after we stripped it back and before the big demo jobs begin. And see the joy on my face when I found the perfect green sink at a local reclamation yard. The first purchase for the house – and a total impulse buy – before I’ve even designed a single bathroom! You have to start somewhere right? x

23 March 2022 by
Creativity Before Consumption

HOW TO: HANDMADE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT SHIMMER & SHINE

A couple of years ago I teamed up with my friend Yolly, a talented florist and a former photographer, and we created these sweet handmade ornaments for the Anthropologie blog. Using elements from nature – feathers, pine cones, dried lotus seed pods and other foraged, found and purchased bits and pieces – we made these simple, shimmery modern rustic ornaments to add to our ever growing collection.

(It’s been a few years since we shot this craft and in that time we have realised that using glitter, even so-called eco or bio glitter is harmful to the environment. We used bio-glitter to make these ornaments, but now that has also been found not to be much better than real glitter once it gets into the water supply. I suggest removing glitter from this craft. An alternative is to replace the glitter with a sprinkle of sugar to give the effect of snow. Otherwise, paint alone will still look sweet).

Every year I try to add a few homemade ornaments to my tree along with those made by my children when they were young. I also ask them each to buy a new ornament every year, now that they are young adults (we have ceramic santas driving cars, snowmen in tutus, glittery mobile phones, knitted sushi, glass pickles, you name it). We don’t have a huge amount of Christmas family traditions, but this is one I try to carry from year to year, so that decorating the tree becomes a trip down memory lane as we remember where we were when we made/bought each ornament.

I’ve always loved contrast – in interiors, in fashion, in food – and I love this craft because of the contrast of the natural rustic elements and the shimmery glitter. The feeling of painting on the raw, porous surfaces is also deeply satisfying and calming. So put on some Christmas tunes, pour a glass of something warming and create some magic. I hope you enjoy x

ALL YOU’LL NEED:

NATURAL BITS AND PIECES COLLECTED ON WALKS, PICKED FROM THE GARDEN/PARK OR BOUGHT FROM THE GARDEN CENTRE OR ONLINE

METALLIC PAINT, GLITTER (UPDATE: WE SUGGEST WHITE GRANULATED SUGAR INSTEAD FOR AN ECO-FRIENDLY SNOW EFFECT), PAINT BRUSH, AND WIRE TO HANG

CHRISTMAS TUNES BY GEORGE MICHAEL, BING CROSBY, MARIAH, DOLLY PARTON OR WHOEVER GETS YOU SINGING

LITTLE SPARKLY DRINKING GLASSES FILLED WITH SOMETHING DELICIOUS

Paint sections of each piece – just the edges of a feather or the tips of a pine cone
While the paint is still wet, sprinkle with glitter (SUGAR), catching the overflow on a plate below
Once dry, thread a loop of wire onto each ornament
Hang onto your tree with fairy lights and watch them shimmer
8 December 2021 by
The power of lighting to add ambience to a room
Interiors

THE SOFTLY LIT ROOM: HOW LIGHTING CHANGES EVERYTHING

I sometimes struggle with the idea that I am solely an “interiors writer”. My brain is full of so many thoughts and ideas I’d like to share, some about interiors, but many others about art and creativity, about parenting and menopause and a long list of other topics, some trivial, some profound. I am a writer and stylist working in the interiors industry, but that doesn’t mean I particularly enjoy writing about the next interiors trend or which designer just launched a new collection. I probably can’t advise you where to buy x/y/z homeware product, and it’s unlikely that I know what Dulux’s paint colour of the year is.

Even in my interiors books I like to delve more into the why of a home rather than the what. Why did the owner choose this home? Why did they pick that artwork and hang it in the bathroom? Why did they decorate in these colours? I want the story behind the home, not just the catalogue of where they bought what. I love design and art and creativity and I love inspiring others to create a home they feel proud of and that reflects their personality. I love writing and I love creating something magical and unique out of very little and I love my little community of people as obsessed with HOME as I am. Creating a home wherever you live and regardless of your budget or the particular chapter of life you’re living through (married, single, with/without kids, divorced, flatmates, whatever…), that is something I can help with. So what makes a house (or apartment or boat or room) feel like a home?

If you’ve followed me for a long time you’ll know that I’ve moved around a lot over the years: London>Kent>New York>Boston>Los Angeles>Texas>Seoul>Los Angeles>London>Kent. When you move a lot you become uniquely skilled at settling into a home really fast, whether it’s rented or owned. It doesn’t take much. My brother came to visit recently from LA and he commented that my homes always feel ‘homey’ very quickly. And as I sit here now and look around my little rented place by the sea that I’ve only lived in for a few months, I can see that he’s right.

Even when I know I won’t be in a home for very long I still make an effort to put my mark on it. Actually it’s not an effort, it’s a compulsion – I have to do it! It’s what I love and it’s what makes me tick. I don’t really bother with paint or anything that costs real money because why would I renovate my landlord’s home for them? (The question of whether or not to invest much into a rental is a topic for another piece because it really depends on where you live and what your prospects and desire for home ownership are. In some countries owning property isn’t a high priority and I do wonder if my children’s generation, at least those living in expensive cities like London, will be forced to not care about owning a home because it is rapidly becoming financially impossible without a high paying job or wealthy parents). Anyway, tangent! Like I said, it’s an entire article in itself.

Speaking personally, my goal has been to buy another home after selling my place in the States, so saving my pennies has taken priority over fixing up a rental while I live in it for a short time. I know I’m not alone in this. And what is the first thing I do when I move into a new place, especially a rental where I may not love everything about the decor? I light it well.

My NUMBER ONE tip for instant ambience (read: homey vibes) is lighting. I know, I know, don’t roll your eyes, it’s not groundbreaking. Every designer who has ever lived has shared this nugget of interiors advice. And yet…how many homes do I visit that get it wrong? So many! Seriously, a shocking amount. I styled a big commercial shoot in a massive house in North London last year – trust me, there was plenty of money sloshing around – but the most shocking lighting situation throughout the home. Cold, harsh LED bulbs adorned a huge and likely very expensive chandelier hung in the triple height foyer – the bulbs with that blue-ish tint like you’re in the cheese aisle at the supermarket. The right bulbs and it would’ve felt like a different place entirely. Warm and cosy and inviting instead of too bright, harsh and a little bit sad and depressing.

The day I moved into my current rented home earlier this year, I plugged in all my lamps before I did almost anything else. Below is my first night, surrounded by moving boxes, but with one corner of calm lit softly by lamp light. A glass of wine and my favourite chocolate biscuits from childhood helped as well. The next day I added a couple of lamps to the bedroom along with some favourite artwork and plants and it almost felt like home.

FIRST THING WHEN MOVING IN IS TO ADD WARM AMBIENT LIGHTING
lamp lighting adds ambience to a simply decorated room

From where I sit, in my 30 square metre, high ceilinged living room I count seven lamps. Some may say it’s excessive but honestly I’m thinking it needs more. They are dotted around, on the piano, on the mantel, a side table, and they elevate the room’s custardy magnolia painted walls (a favourite of UK landlords. Why?) to something close to elegance. With the harsh overhead light switched on, the room loses it’s charm, but with the warm, low light of a variety of lamps, it glows warmly. Low energy LED bulbs (I bought mine at IKEA) – the warm, almost amber toned ones – prevent my electricity bill from being shocking. So, lamps. If you see one you like, don’t ask do I have anywhere for it, just buy it. You can never have too many. And don’t even think about putting that overhead light on unless you’ve lost something down the sofa and you need searchlights.

I just deleted an entire paragraph with other quick tips (plants, books etc…) because you know what? This is THE ONE. If you can only do one thing, sort your lighting and it will transform your home.

23 November 2021 by
Interiors

SHOP YOUR HOME: HOW TO REFRESH YOUR INTERIORS WITH WHAT YOU OWN

Last year I made this video for Instagram on how to shop your home as a way to breathe new life into it, and it proved soooo popular! It’s an easy and deeply satisfying way to re-style your home – or just one room – by shopping what you already own. As an interior stylist, set designer and interiors author I’m accustomed to making big changes very quickly on set or when styling/shooting a home for my books in only a day. For shoots, sometimes I design and build a set from scratch in a studio, but often we might shoot in a location house (a real home the owner is hiring out for the shoot) and I’m tasked with using what’s already there and adding a few other props bought or hired for the job. I may grab a chair from the living room and style it in a bedroom or take a group of vases from the kitchen and arrange them in a bathroom. Cushions from one room may move to another and artwork frequently finds a new spot to suit the shot. It’s this fast-paced creativity and resourcefulness I’m suggesting you use to refresh your home – the added bonus being that unlike on a photo shoot, you don’t need to rush and you don’t have to put it all back exactly how you found it!

Now that I’ve moved into a new rental flat by the sea to test the area to see if I want to settle/buy, it’s a trick I’m using once again in my own home, for the short time I may be here. There’s nothing wrong with acquiring new things (I mean new to you – can be second hand of course) and I’m certainly looking to add some new pieces to my space as well, but it’s surprising how much you can refresh a room just by shuffling things around. Perhaps you’re strapped for cash right now but are a bit bored of your space or maybe like me, you’re in a temporary home and don’t want to invest too much, or maybe you know you don’t need anything new but want your home to feel fresh. These are all good reasons to shop your home. It’s also a useful way to see what you really do want to buy instead of just purchasing things willy-nilly. It allows you to take stock of what you have and assess what you need. Maybe a new lamp in that corner would really make the space, or a piece of art on that wall would balance the colour and add a focal point.

Here’s how I do it:

CHOOSE A ROOM/AREA/ONE WALL TO FOCUS ON

The process can have a bit of a domino effect as you move things around the house, but try to begin with a small area or one room otherwise you’ll end up with an overwhelming whole house overhaul. That said, the process does usually end up affecting the whole home because the idea is to swap things around from room to room. But decide on an area you want to work on first – in my video it was a wall behind the sofa that was the most focal part of my living room. You will find yourself going round in circles, starting in the living room for example and deciding to pull a lamp from the bedroom to use by the sofa. But then of course you need a ‘new’ lamp to replace the one you pinched from the bedroom so you move one from somewhere else into there. Round and round and round…You get the picture.

GET INSPIRED

Pull out your favourite interiors books and magazines or browse Pinterest for some renewed inspiration. See what sparks joy, as Marie Kondo says and what would work in your current space. We’re not talking about new sofas, wallpaper or an entirely new house for this particular process! This is about refreshing your home by working with what you’ve got. So find a few images that serve as a guide to keep you focused. For me it was images of gallery walls behind sofas because that was the area I was working on.

SHOP YOUR HOME

LAY IT ALL OUT!

This is the fun part. In the past I’ve talked about the benefit of putting some things away – items you love but don’t want to have on display all the time. I appreciate not everyone has space to store boxes of homeware, and maybe that’s just a stylist thing to do, but if you’ve done that now is the time to have a rummage. It’s the same as putting away your summer clothes in winter – you forget what you have then come summer it feels like you have a whole new wardrobe when you unpack that box/suitcase/cupboard of shorts and summer dresses. Even if you don’t have things put away, start to look around and inventory what you have in every room. Maybe there’s a cluster of vases stashed atop a kitchen cabinet, or some throw cushion covers folded with the bed linen. Perhaps there’s a framed poster that hangs in a hallway and doesn’t get seen much or a lamp by your bed that sheds too much light for night-time reading and would be better in the living room. Put on your stylist glasses and really see what you have, what’s working and what’s not.

STRIP IT BACK

I prefer to strip back an area and almost start fresh. It’s not essential but I find it helps me see a space with new eyes and not get too attached to old ideas. Like in my video where I was tackling a wall behind the sofa in my old flat, I stripped out the pieces I didn’t think I’d keep there, leaving only the large artwork and plants that I knew would stay. Equally, you could just swap in and out the odd piece depending on how much of an overhaul you’re doing.

BUILD IT UP AGAIN

Gather all the bits around you so you can see what you’re working with. On photo shoots a stylist has a prop table to lay out all the ‘smalls’ as we call them – vases, knick knacks, books, artwork etc. Gather it all on your kitchen table, bed, even the floor. Wherever you can see it clearly. And start to play. If you’re rearranging furniture as well as small bits, start with the larger pieces first. I like to work from big to small whether I’m styling a set or giving my home a refresh: Rugs, sofas, cabinets, armchairs, lamps, then smalls – in that order.

PLAY AROUND UNTIL YOU’RE HAPPY

Don’t expect it to all fall into place immediately. This is a process and it might take time. On shoots time is the one thing usually in short supply so I’ve learned to work fast and trust my instincts. This is something you can learn too over time and with experience. But in the meantime enjoy the process. I did this exact thing yesterday in my new flat and felt really good by the end of the day. I know now some items that I don’t have but want to add – artwork and a special lamp – and the small changes make the space feel more considered. But I’m also not 100% satisfied with it and I know there will be more faffing over the coming days/weeks (months/years?) Don’t get frustrated and if you need more inspiration, hit those interiors books and Pinterest again and come back when you’re feeling ready.

FINISHING TOUCHES

Finishing touches to me mean that final layer – plants, a vase of flowers, fresh cushions on the sofa, maybe a small arrangement of books and bits on the coffee table (if you don’t have small children to contend with). A ‘shop your home’ refresh is a great opportunity to have a bit of a declutter and add that layer of finesse that often gets overlooked. We’re all rushed with jobs, children, caring for others, life and all it’s busy-ness and messiness and maybe things like this don’t seem important. But I think that a little bit of care and consideration in our interiors can positively affect the other areas in our lives – we feel better and things run more smoothly when we love our home. Amid all the chaos, it’s important to have even a corner of calm and beauty in our homes. Trust your gut and also know that it’s a process of experimentation. As I said in the last post, a home is never done. There will probably always be areas you’re not happy with, things you wish you could buy or do to make your home more special, but in the meantime I hope a bit of shopping your own home can bridge the gap x

13 June 2021 by
Interiors

A HOME IS NEVER DONE

I was walking along the canal last night after dark, all the apartments lit up and on full display, like one of those illustrated cross section books where you can see inside huge ships and the Empire State building, except far more interesting because these were occupied by real people just going about their everyday business – making dinner, sitting at their computers, the ordinary stuff of life that I find so comforting (I wasn’t being creepy spying from the bushes with a telescope – these homes are on full display to a very public walkway, with benches for optimal viewing comfort!) Seeing all the different interiors, different lighting, colour choices, artwork or lack of it, I was mesmerised by the sight and for some reason it made me think of that much quoted scene in the film American Beauty, where Wes Bentley’s character talks about how he filmed a plastic bag ‘dancing’ in the wind for 15 minutes. (When I looked up the scene just now for accuracy, I read that it’s pretentious and unoriginal to reference it, so I guess sometimes I’m just a basic bitch!)

Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

Excuse the clunky segue to interiors, but this is often how I feel when I see how many different styles of home exist in the world (or in this case, on one stretch of canal in East London). There are so many beautiful ways to create a home, sometimes it feels overwhelming. That sounds ridiculous to write, but I’m talking really about the lives lived there, not simply the way they’re decorated. On my many lockdown walks and bike rides over the past 12 months (see last post) I’ve fallen in love with one house after the other, all in varying styles and representing completely different ways of living – luxurious canal side loft conversions, Brutalist high rises, curved Art Deco apartments, Georgian townhouses, bungalows by the sea, converted pubs and on and on. And with the many trips I’ve taken to photograph and style homes for my four books, I’ve been lucky enough to see the way people live all over the world. I often joke that I feel equal parts inspired and depressed when I leave these gorgeous homes. (I really ought to know a lot more about the history of architecture considering how much I am obsessed with it! In the same way that I should know a lot more about wine considering how much I enjoy it 😉 )

I feel this same beauty overload when I browse interiors on Pinterest, making board after board of imagery on different interiors styles and loving each of them equally. Sometimes I’m left feeling overwhelmed by choice. Which one is my style, I still find myself wondering, even after all these years as an interiors stylist and author! How can I like the frayed beauty of vintage floral curtains but also the clean lines of polished concrete floors? How can I be obsessed with the modern eclectic sophistication of a New York Townhouse (Jenna Lyons‘s place, swoon) and the charm of a French cottage where every surface is whimsically hand-painted (Natalie Lété‘s country home)?

The question of how to find your style is one I know many people struggle with – I get asked constantly. I think what it boils down to is a feeling rather than a defined look. Your taste will change over the years but there will probably always be a thread that links it. What’s the thread that is woven through all the interiors and homes that I love? I think it’s a sense of creativity and authenticity rather than a particular trend or colour palette. As I write in my book Life Unstyled, I fall in love with the sense that people actually live here. Their heart and soul and creativity are on display through the choices they’ve made with their home design. I may be attracted to many different styles of home, but at their heart they are the same. If you analyse the interior styles to which you’re always drawn, I bet you’ll find there’s a common thread. That’s your style.

I think I speak for many when I say that this year has prompted a great deal of self-reflection. All our plans vanished, our way of life changed overnight and it left many thinking, what do I want my life to look like when things go back to ‘normal’? As an interior stylist/set designer and writer, for me it always comes back to the home. Where do I want to live? When I’m not working on a shoot, where do I want to spend my days? This was the case before the pandemic, but now even more so. I wonder how has your view of your home evolved this year? Do you feel like making a big change, seeking a life you’ve dreamt of but never had the courage to take the leap? Perhaps you’ve fallen back in love with your home and vowed to make it a place you want to stay for years to come? Or maybe you’ve given up entirely on the idea of a permanent home and can’t wait to travel the world once we’re allowed. Tell me, tell me. I’d love to know what home means to you now x

20 February 2021 by